After the Wedding
by Genji
Summary: A songfic, using Sister Hazel's "Champagne High," told from Relena's POV at Heero's and Duo's wedding. A touch of yaoi, angst, minor sap, and a sympathetic Relena thrown in for good measure.


Title: After the Wedding   
Part: 1/1   
Date: November 25, 2000   
Author: Genji (genji_15@excite.com)   
Status: Final   
Archive: Ask. It's always nice   
Category: Songfic (Change Your Mind by Sister Hazel)   
Rating: PG  
Pairings: 1 + 2   
Warnings: Angst, Shounen-ai...it could be yaoi, but there really isn't much to go on.  
Feedback: I'd kill for it.   
Notes: Ok, let's get this straight from the start. I enjoy Relena bashing as much as the next yaoi addict. I do not like Relena. I like to throw popcorn and other non TV-breakable items at her when she comes on the screen. Personally, I loathe the Heero-stalking, interfering ditz. However, she is a person, and this song sorta made me think of her. We all agree (well most of us) that 1 and 2 make a cute couple...but then again, so do 2 and 5...but I won't go there....So, let me write this, and then I'll happily go back to Relena bashing, k?  
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Please don't sue.  
Song Disclaimer: Don't sing it, didn't write it, just borrowing.  
[song lyrics]  
Relena's POV  
  
[I wasn't looking for a lifetime with you...]  
  
The dress was beautiful. Blue, my favorite color. I should've been wearing it when I first danced with you. You, whose mystique captivated me. I hadn't worn it due to circumstances beyond my control. It was then that I had asked if you would still kill me. You nodded your assent. Funny, to think you let me live to be where I am now.   
  
[I never thought it would hurt just to hear,  
"I do" and "I do."  
And I do a number a number on myself,  
And all that I thought-to be...]  
  
Of course, I'm not the one saying those two words to you, my obsession. I remain, here in the crowd, watching my dreams disintegrate. The kiss seals my fate. I've never seen you kiss anyone. I had always hoped I'd be your first. Now I know I never will be.  
  
[And you'll be the one  
Who just left me undone  
By my own, hesitation.]  
  
I should have given you space. I shouldn't have pestered you so, perhaps then it would be me up there, and not another. I was always there, needing to be saved, but never saving anyone myself. Now you stand there, with the sun streaming in through the stained-glass window, making delicate designs on the simple wooden floor. Your silhouettes take their place within the colored light, so beautiful, so touching. I'm left here, my heart torn out. Perhaps it's for the best, but it doesn't feel like that now.  
  
[And for the million hours that we were  
Well I'll smile and remember it all  
Then I'll turn and go.  
While your story's completed mine is a long way from done.]  
  
We never were an item, though no one knows more than I how much I wished it to be so. However, over the months that I followed you, trying to understand what made you tick, I grew to know you in a totally different way than when I found you on the beach, trying to self destruct. I smile as I remember how disappointed and surprised you had looked when it had failed. However, I'm not wanted here. Happy endings don't have a place for losers.  
  
[I'm on a champagne high.  
Where will I be when I stop wondering why?  
On a champagne high- high]  
  
I take another flute of the amber liquid from one of the waiters. Quatre's contribution. The grooms are nowhere to be seen, but all the same, I want to get plastered. I want to make a fool of myself and then just fade away. I've been in control so long, I want to lay aside all responsibilities, and just forget who I am for a minute. Why did this have to happen?  
  
[Spring turned to summer, but then winter turned to mean  
The distance seemed right at the time it was best- to leave  
And to leave behind  
What I once thought was fine and so real to me...]  
  
I had been so hopeful when I had found you. I thought I could capture you, elusive one; ensnare you with my charms. I chased you with that vain hope, and still, here I am, at your wedding, but not ours. However, as time went by, I had the beginnings of doubt that perhaps you didn't feel anything toward me, even though you had saved me so many times after you swore to kill me.  
  
[And while I'm still gone  
On the quest for my song  
I'm at your celebration.]  
  
I'm so reminiscent when I'm drunk. The bubbly fluid burns my throat and tickles my nose. I scan the room, but there's no one worth pursuing. I am alone. I've always been alone, but I've been too childish to notice it. A song starts to play, and I almost drop the slender glass. It was our song, the song we danced to the first time I held you in my arms during that fateful dance. I remember your smell- it hangs in my nose even now. How could I forget every detail of the teen that I chased for so long?  
  
[And for the million hours that we were  
Well I'll smile and remember it all  
Then I'll turn and go.  
While you story's completed mine is a long way from done.]  
  
I close my eyes and remember. It had been hard work tracking you down, but I did it, every time. I remember the duel in Antarctica. The fear that I might lose you forever drove me insane. But you survived. I should leave now. This is no place for me. Duo invited me, not you.  
  
[I'm on a champagne high  
Where will I be when I stop wondering why?  
On a champagne high.  
Toast to the future but that'd be a lie  
On a champagne high.]  
  
Now it's time to offer a toast. I want to wish you both the best for the future, but I can't. Something prevents me from standing, with my glass raised. I can't lie. Not to you. I can smile; I can lie to myself, but not to you that I love. Yes, as much as I don't like to admit it, as much as the alcohol clouds my judgment, I know that as much as you turn me away, I will always be here, waiting. My first love, my true love.  
  
[Your wagon's been hitched to a star  
Well now he'll be your thing that's new  
Yeah what little I have you can borrow  
'Cause I'm old (I'm old) I'm blue...]  
  
It's time for you to leave now. The part is over, and we all wish you two goodbye. A black corvette is at the bottom of the steps, and you run down to it, rice clinging to your hair. When did I spill champagne on my face? It stings my eyes and falls in droplets down my cheeks. I know I'll never see you again as you turn and look at me. One. Last. Time.  
  
[And for the million hours that we were  
Well I'll smile and remember it all  
Then I'll turn and go-]  
  
I break your stare and run back into the building. I can't put myself through this. I can't accept that you aren't mine anymore. I hear the motor of your car being gunned, and the screech of tires. Duo's driving. I know you down to your driving style. How sad is that, coming from one that has never laid her hand upon a clutch?  
  
[On a champagne high (so high)  
Where will I be when I stop wondering why?  
On a champagne high (so high)  
Toast to the future but that'd be a lie  
On a champagne high (so high)  
Where will I be when I stop wondering why?  
On a champagne high- high (so high)  
(So high you left me undone...)]  
  
It's over. There are other fish in the sea, I'm told, but it will be hard. I don't want this to end, but it's ended before I knew it had started. It's confusing, isn't it? Must be the alcohol talking. Heero. My Heero. I wish I could be stronger, more indifferent, but I only have a heart. One of these days you'll see me, laughing with a guy on each arm. They'll chase me one of these days, and I won't have to chase you anymore. I wish you and Duo the best, much as it hurts to say that, much as I wish that Duo had falls for Hilde, I don't think that will happen.  
  
[Where will I be when I stop wondering why?]  
  
Life only happens once. Live life to the fullest, and with no regrets. I don't have any regrets about what I did, only that it couldn't be me. We will meet again, Heero.  
  
I'm sorry, I'm no Duo Maxwell Yuy- I lied.  
  
  



End file.
